Four Pieces of Unsolicited Advice for New Dads. (Happy Birthmonth, Moose!)

 

Three hours before my husband proposed, he had me in tears.  

Sad tears.  Not happy tears. 

You see, he had suspected that I had guessed he would propose.  And he wanted me to be surprised when he popped the question.  So he tried to convince me that he thought it wasn’t a good time to get married.  This way, when he did get down on his knee, I wouldn’t have seen it coming. 

Did you follow that?  This is an example of decent logic and excellent intentions gone terribly awry. 

“Fools rush in,” he repeated.  “Fools rush in.” 

As I sobbed because “I just thought we were on the same page,” he handed me a Kleenex.  His other hand covered the ring box in his jeans pocket.  

They say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but I think they are just being nice.  I am not entirely convinced that men are from this galaxy at all.  

Whatever his galaxy of origin, I love my man dearly.  When I wrote in the “Cast of Characters” that Moose is “the man of my dreams…only way better,” you should know that 1) I dream big, and 2) this statement came from my heart–I was not trying to get him to empty our gutters.  

[Although, should he choose to clean the gutters, I will not stand in his way.] 

*** 

In the spirit of Moose’s birthmonth, today’s post includes my four favorite things my husband did to make pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood easier for me.  

(Expectant male readers:  I hope you will find this helpful.  Expectant female readers:  feel free to print this post and tape it to your husband’s forehead.  He may be from Mars, but he will probably get the hint.)  

1.  Moose stopped eating the foods I was craving while I was pregnant. 

Every mother handles the “forbidden foods of pregnancy” according to their own comfort zones.  My personal comfort zone appears to be painted in black and white.  

So, by my seventh month of pregnancy, I was craving beer, sashimi and non-pasteurized cheese for breakfast.  

Here is an example of a bad thing to order when you go out to dinner with your pregnant partner:  Cabernet, goat cheese salad, sushi.  

Here is an example of a great thing to order:  anything your Baby Momma can and wants to share with you. 

Should you, an expectant father, decide to order from the “bad things” list, I respectfully suggest that you made your couch:  now sleep on it. 

2.  Moose took care of me so that I could take care of the baby.  

If your partner is recovering from childbirth while trying to breastfeed and learning to nurture a new human life, she will have a lot on her mind.  A few things that will not enter her line of thinking are:  eating, hydrating, showering, etc.  

Help her with those things, and you, too, will be a knight in shining armor

3.  Moose was my gate-keeper. 

A new mom needs to worry about her child(ren), herself, and (maybe) her husband.  She does not need to worry about hurting the feelings of would-be visitors when she is exhausted. 

Daddy, that’s your job.  Be the gate-keeper.  And be merciless–some people will not understand.  Momma naps when baby naps.  End of story. 

4.  When I was acting hormonal at any point during the pregnancy, the delivery, or the postpartum period, instead of responding in kind, Moose held me and told me that he loved me. 

That is all you need to know. 

*** 

I poke fun at my husband.  It keeps him on his toes.  And it keeps him laughing–he’s got a great sense of humor. 

But so what if I dismissed his (otherwise very romantic) marriage proposal as a joke because he had me convinced that he didn’t want to get married? 

When I did say “yes,” I gained the best life partner in the world. 

To speak Moose’s language, he is my “teammate.”  He jogs by my side, inspiring me to run faster, jump higher, push further.  When the bases are loaded in the bottom of the ninth, I know I can count on him to hit the grand slam.  When I pass him the ball, I know he will run with it.  When life throws me a pick, I know he will be there to protect my blind side.  

He is my teammate, my MVP.  For his birthday, I dedicate this song to him, by UB40: 

“Wise men say, ‘only fools rush in.’  But I can’t help falling in love with you.” 

  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Do you have any advice for soon-to-be dads? 

  

I always love hearing your stories!  

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12 responses to “Four Pieces of Unsolicited Advice for New Dads. (Happy Birthmonth, Moose!)

  1. Dionne Baldwin

    Awww…so were you so happy or mad after he actually proposed? 🙂 That is very sweet. I love it when we can be a team with our men instead of adversaries. Being considerate goes a long way in my opinion. They may be from Mars or somewhere even farther but as long as my other half’s heart is in the right place it saves me from wanting to kick him in the patoot!

  2. Tear. That was a beautiful post. I never knew how wonderful of a father my husband would be. He is the best partner and my best friend. How lucky we are.
    My best advice is what you said – gate-keeping! I was so overwhelmed with the amount of visitors wanting to come visit my baby during the peak of flu season. It drove me crazy and actually got frustrated. Couldn’t they just let my husband and I enjoy our new baby and our life as a family of 3? It took about 3 weeks for the visitors to slow down. Now, I make sure friends/family are settled after they have a baby before I visit – I know what it’s like on the other side.
    My husband also took on the job of monitoring hand washing of visitors. Yes I was anal but could you blame me? My son was born in the winter when H1N1 and the seasonal flu were rampant.

    • Oh, Marissa. I am so glad you wrote this for two reasons. One reason is that it’s comforting for me to know that you felt overwhelmed, too. (Sometimes it’s easy to think everybody else has things under control.)

      Also–can I get a “hallelujah” for the hand-washing tip?? HOW DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT?? I completely understand your concerns about flu season. In fact, I was so neurotic about it that I am fairly certain I have ruined my reputation forever. Haha. Oh well–all in the name of motherhood! xox

  3. Keep writing lady! I love every post!

  4. Love this post!!!!! Love that picture – could not be cuter!!

  5. Your husband sounds like a fantastic guy. And I can’t be too harsh on him for the whole trying to throw you off track thing. I always said that if I were a doctor who had to deliver news that someone had to have minor surgery I’d start off by telling them that their head was going to spontaneously combust in one week. Then, when they found out that the appendix had to go…they’d feel way better!

    • Haha–sounds like you and my husband would get along, Scott!! The prospect of spontaneous head combustion sure does make appendix removal seem like a walk in the park. 🙂

  6. Men you gotta love em…..great post i look forward to reading more…

    Hope
    http://hopelesslycrushingonyou.wordpress.com

  7. Great post! All of my love to Momma Goose and Poppa Moose 🙂

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