Parenting Forums: What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks are they Talking about?

OMG WTF

Once or twice, neither my doctor nor any credible website has been able to answer my baby-related questions.  (Ex:  “Why does my belly make a clicking noise?”)

So I ventured into the world of Parenting Forums, where I had no idea what the hell anybody was talking about.

Have you visited one of these sites?  Here’s a fairly typical comment:

“My MIL and AF will both be in town this weekend.  DD and DS are clawing each others’ eyes out, and DH is oblivious.  OMG, I need a MNO.”

Why in Tar Nation do people assume readers will be able to decode this foreign language?  These abbreviations were not explained in any of the hospital pamphlets.  I know for sure.  I read them.  All of them.

So, I had just taught myself French nursery rhymes, baby sign language, and how to say “circle” in Italian, German and Chinese [il cerchio, kreis, xun huan].  It would not be inaccurate to say that I was less than excited to decode this jargon.

But now I’m a voice on the internets too.  And I think there’s a saying that goes, “When in Rome, talk like the Mommas talk.”  So, below, I’m providing a reference of popular abbreviations used in what I call “MT.  (Momma Type.) 

(Any correlation to the word “empty” (MT) was made by you, not me.)

AF – Aunt Flo (menstruation)

AFAIK – As Far as I Know

DH, DS, DD, DF, DB, DP – Darling Husband / Son / Daughter / Fiancé / Boyfriend / Partner

ETA – Edited to Add

HTH – Hope This Helps

JMHO – Just My Humble Opinion

LMFAO – Laughing My F’ing Ass Off

LOL – Land O’ Lakes

MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL – Mother/Father/Brother/Sister-in-law

MNO – Mom’s Night Out

NBD – No Big Deal

OP – Original Post/Poster

PP – Previous Post/Poster

SAHM – Stay At Home Mom

SO – Significant Other

SCUBA – Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus

TY – Thank You

(See more abbreviations here.)    

And now, to flex my muscles as a new authority on all things cyberspace, I hereby declare the following abbreviations to be used in future posts in Momma Goose Notes:

C3:  Cool, Calm and Collected

KISH:  Knight in Shining Armor  (A reference to my husband.)

LFTDB: Lessons for the Diaper Bag

TGFMF!!:  Thank God for My Family!!  (Always with exclamation points.)

The P’s and C’s:  The Pros and Cons

PS:  Once I cracked the codes, I did find solace in the parenting forums.  Even when people confidently spoke out of their asses (e.g.:  “Your belly is clicking because your baby has gas“), at least I knew I was not alone in my confusion.  I send a genuine and heartfelt “TY” to all the Moms Who Openly Discuss All the Nitty Gritty Details of Their Lives.

Grazie, Merci and Danke, MWODANGDTL’s!!

[Side note: OMG.  Am I now a MWODANGDHL?]

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Do you find abbreviations confusing?  Do you know of any I should add to this list?

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10 responses to “Parenting Forums: What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks are they Talking about?

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  4. It took me one million years to decode LMAO/LMFAO because people were doing it in lowercase, in which case the L looks like an I. So I thought they were writing a word, Imao. And I knew IMO was In My Opinion, so I was hazarding guesses such as In My Assinine Opinion, but those didn’t make sense in the context. (Usually.)

  5. Hysterical, Swistle!! “In My Assinine Opinion” had me ROTFL. 🙂 Maybe you’re on to something here. The IMAO abbreviation could be very useful!

    It was the DD/DS/DH thing that had me the most confused.

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  7. Jessica Clifford

    Too funny – I LMFAO!

  8. Swistle, I am literally ROTFL right now because you just solved my IMAO problem — I literally was googling “IMAO” last week. Thank you!!

  9. We all know LOL and ROFL, but have you heard of ROFLAPIMP?

    *translation: rolling on the floor laughing and peeing in my pants

  10. Dionne Baldwin

    My head spins at abbreviations for real. I have to favorite this so I can come back to it the next time I read a blog/post that needs translation. Honestly, french is easier to decode than some of those abbreviations.

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