Once or twice, neither my doctor nor any credible website has been able to answer my baby-related questions. (Ex: “Why does my belly make a clicking noise?”)
So I ventured into the world of Parenting Forums, where I had no idea what the hell anybody was talking about.
Have you visited one of these sites? Here’s a fairly typical comment:
“My MIL and AF will both be in town this weekend. DD and DS are clawing each others’ eyes out, and DH is oblivious. OMG, I need a MNO.”
Why in Tar Nation do people assume readers will be able to decode this foreign language? These abbreviations were not explained in any of the hospital pamphlets. I know for sure. I read them. All of them.
So, I had just taught myself French nursery rhymes, baby sign language, and how to say “circle” in Italian, German and Chinese [il cerchio, kreis, xun huan]. It would not be inaccurate to say that I was less than excited to decode this jargon.
But now I’m a voice on the internets too. And I think there’s a saying that goes, “When in Rome, talk like the Mommas talk.” So, below, I’m providing a reference of popular abbreviations used in what I call “MT. (Momma Type.)
(Any correlation to the word “empty” (MT) was made by you, not me.)
AF – Aunt Flo (menstruation)
AFAIK – As Far as I Know
DH, DS, DD, DF, DB, DP – Darling Husband / Son / Daughter / Fiancé / Boyfriend / Partner
ETA – Edited to Add
HTH – Hope This Helps
JMHO – Just My Humble Opinion
LMFAO – Laughing My F’ing Ass Off
LOL – Land O’ Lakes
MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL – Mother/Father/Brother/Sister-in-law
MNO – Mom’s Night Out
NBD – No Big Deal
OP – Original Post/Poster
PP – Previous Post/Poster
SAHM – Stay At Home Mom
SO – Significant Other
SCUBA – Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus
TY – Thank You
(See more abbreviations here.)
And now, to flex my muscles as a new authority on all things cyberspace, I hereby declare the following abbreviations to be used in future posts in Momma Goose Notes:
C3: Cool, Calm and Collected
KISH: Knight in Shining Armor (A reference to my husband.)
LFTDB: Lessons for the Diaper Bag
TGFMF!!: Thank God for My Family!! (Always with exclamation points.)
The P’s and C’s: The Pros and Cons
PS: Once I cracked the codes, I did find solace in the parenting forums. Even when people confidently spoke out of their asses (e.g.: “Your belly is clicking because your baby has gas“), at least I knew I was not alone in my confusion. I send a genuine and heartfelt “TY” to all the Moms Who Openly Discuss All the Nitty Gritty Details of Their Lives.
Grazie, Merci and Danke, MWODANGDTL’s!!
[Side note: OMG. Am I now a MWODANGDHL?]
Do you find abbreviations confusing? Do you know of any I should add to this list?